We're back! This week we have finished Daisy Darker. Wow. Today's craft topic is about the way Feeney "staggers" information in the final sequence, giving us one big development at a time (so we don't get confused or have our attention split). I call this principle "one shock at a time."

(The concept is related to the idea in my plot course that I call the "staggered ending".)

Note 1, before we begin: We had a great meeting on Thursday. I'll share the replay shortly.

Note 2: our next novel is free to read online. It is Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson, a historical adventure set in and around the Scottish highlands. Originally, Stevenson wrote and published the story for young readers, but in the twentieth century, the story has slowly gained critical appreciation. Hillary Mantel said she re-read the novel "every couple of years at least. It never loses its magic for me."

Note 3: after that, I am currently thinking that we should read The Dark is Rising, by Susan Cooper, and then a popular request from the group -- A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles.

All right -- that was a lot of notes! To the finale of Daisy Darker.

Daisy Darker, to the end (total spoiler alert)

Synopsis: Spoiler alert -- Daisy continues to tell us about a night where something really important happened between herself and Rose, Lily, and Conor. In the final sequence, we see Conor break out of the room where the last living members of the family are huddled, go to confront the mysterious attacker, and dies. Rose is shot -- by Trixie. Then we learn the biggest secret of the story: Daisy has been dead this whole time and only Trixie (with some small exceptions) can see her. Then we discover maybe the second biggest shock: the grandmother has been working with Trixie to kill the rest of the family. She swallows poison so she can (briefly) see Daisy again, leaving Trixie and Daisy alone in the house. Before she departs, Trixie gives Daisy the challenge of writing down her life story in a book (Daisy is able to move small objects), therefore explaining what the novel was in the "note" at the start of the novel.

Craft lesson: one shock at a time

I feel like "sequencing" is an undertaught element of good plotting. We are all taught the big moves of plot structure, but even our genre-specific plotting tools (the hero's journey, the turning points of a mystery) often stop helping us right where we need them most! They often cease to give advice around that critical point where we are trying to make the finale good.

One craft technique visible in these final pages is the way Feeney works meticulously to make sure her surprises land correctly. One way she does this is by sequencing all the reveals in a careful order. Now, I actually think this is different to the idea of red herrings and semi-hidden clues. It's also true that she layers a series of misdirections about Daisy not being alive (through the story, we see Trixie interact with her; Conor and Nana appear to talk to her on occasion but this is actually her misunderstanding) and clues that something is amiss (the will-reading scene, and the minor inheritance given to Daisy, doesn't make a lot of sense if she is alive -- yet no one in the family reacts to it with surprise).

But that's not really what I'm talking about here.

What I am interested in is the order in which the final events happen. It is as if Feeney is "clearing the decks" for the two (or three) big reveals: Daisy being a ghost and Nana being one of the killers (the third being Conor's role in Daisy's death). This sequencing is visible both in Daisy's flashbacks and in the present moment -- both time periods in the book are moving to the same crescendo.

Let's look at how the ending plays out.

in chapter thirty-eight, the longest and most important flashback begins -- Seaglass 1988. Daisy sees Lily and Conor have sex on the beach -- and they discover her watching them. The flashback ends on a cliffhanger -- what will happen next?
in chapter forty, as Lily's death is discovered, Rose and Conor bicker over who the killer could be. We also discover the explanation of who Trixie's father was.
Conor emerges from the room and is killed.
Rose emerges to look at Conor and is killed.
Trixie admits, gleefully, to being the killer.

To pause here for a second: we now have reached a point where, in a sense, the only big mysteries left are "why is Trixie the killer" and "who is the second killer." There is a third -- perhaps we are unconscious of it -- "why is the family so unhappy" -- and the way Feeney decides to sequence those reveals is fascinating.

So -- by the moment of Rose's death, the decks have been cleared of all minor mysteries. And so we are ready to hear the biggest twist of all -- the one we weren't expecting. Trixie announces:

“Stop being silly, Aunty Daisy. I couldn’t kill you because you’re already dead.”To continue:

Trixie talks Daisy through the seeming impossibility of her being dead -- people can see her just as they die, which explains why Rose was able to talk to her a moment before.
Trixie prompts Daisy to continue remembering the flashback from 1988. "I remember exactly what happened after that. I ran."
Finally, after a break of about nine chapters (!) the flashback resumes. Now comes the biggest emotional reveal of the whole novel: we already know Daisy is dead, but we don't yet understand why this family is so miserable towards each other, and why Rose and Lily and Conor are so bitter.
We discover that Conor, Lily, and Rose agreed to throw Daisy's body into the sea even though she is still alive at that moment.

Note: this last reveal, of course, can only come after we discover that Daisy is really dead. It would rob the "she's a ghost" reveal of its power if we saw the flashback before Trixie's announcement. Perhaps that is why Feeney unconsciously prepares us for this post-ghost reveal in chapter thirty-eight, with the cliffhanger in the flashback.

In chapter 48, Trixie and Daisy together fill out the practicalities of how Daisy could be a ghost.
In chapter 49, Nana is revealed to be alive and one of the killers.
Nana recounts the aftermath of Daisy's death, and how the whole family knew what really happened.

Note: this is one moment where the reveals, to my taste, come a little too fast. Nana's account of the family's guilt, in chapter 49, is rapid enough that I, reading for the first time, lost track of all the different post-death info.

In the final pages, Daisy begins to write her own novel, which the agent will later find on his office door step.--

Sequencing is important

Why go through all of this in such detail? Because I think many writers have a tendency to rush their big scenes. We worry about page count, the reader's attention span, and "show don't tell." We have a tendency to jam our reveals together, rather than letting each one breath: by sequencing each reveal so carefully, Feeney allows each one to land with force.

Can you try this out? Is there a moment in your story where you are delivering a lot of info or reveals at once? Can you spread those reveals out through more scenes -- reveal each key piece of info or twist in its own stage.

Discuss the moment in your story here!

Daisy Darker to the end: sequencing

This course is only available for enrolled students only.

Weekly newsletters

Audio Lessons

Newsletters for The Age of Innocence

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Video lessons

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Discussion

Newsletters

Zoom Recordings

Newsletters

Zoom Recordings

Newsletters

Introductions and Resources

Newsletters

Zoom recordings and audio files

Newsletters