Dear writers,

Welcome back to Reading with Daniel.

This is the newsletter for chapters twenty-one to thirty-one of Jade City. The main craft topic is: foreshadowing...

(Personal note! I owe you all a Zoom session. I should have planned this better, I know -- my parents are here in Maine and we are exploring / sightseeing together -- I will host a session soon or an extra one later in June. I've also been planning out my first audio message based on the many great comments I've received. It's a reflection on this newsletter itself and how people have responded to the plot advice.)

(Look here for photos: several recent pics in Maine.)

Synopsis of these chapters: tensions grow between the two clans. After winning the duel, Lan struggles to "handle his jade" due to the injuries he sustained -- and recruits Anden to deliver him doses of SN-1 to improve his tolerance. We learn more about Shae's background. Lan and Hilo sideline Doru. Lan tries to fight off attackers but is too weak -- he collapses.

Technique: foreshadowing

One old idea about the power of art: art makes us feel things and understand them at the same time. In real life, of course, this is surprisingly rare, with most of us blundering into feelings or needing years of experience to gain a clear vantage point to make sense of our actions. Sometimes we take decisions that seem clear-headed and objective in the moment, but which we later see were the product of a brittle fear, or simmering envy, that lurked just below our conscious awareness.

Art is supposed to be different. When you read a story, you are generally supposed to feel it and understand it -- as it unfolds. You don't need to wait to chapter twenty to enjoy chapter ten -- you should be able to enjoy chapter ten as you read it.

This seems so obvious, right? But it is actually much more challenging to do than it might seem. This challenge (making it fun to read chapter ten while you are reading it) rarely gets the attention that other craft problems receive, and many writing classes don't seem to treat it as a significant, maybe even central problem to writing good stories. But it is surprisingly easy to write fiction that no one really "gets" -- either because they do not understand what is being depicted on the page or because they don't feel the story the way they would like to.

One solution to this challenge? What people often call "foreshadowing." We don't expect the reader to just figure out chapter ten on her own, so we drop hints and clues in chapters six and eight which enable the reader to enjoy the events of that chapter.

Notice how in chapter twenty-eight of Jade City, Lan has Anden practise the same techniques that Lan will use himself, in much more dramatic and significant circumstances, in chapter thirty-one. In chapter twenty-eight, Anden not only tries to master "Deflection" (showing) but because the stakes are so low -- it is just training -- both he and Lan are able to interject a lot of explanation about how it works (telling). We see him using the technique and hear the narrator describe his understanding of it -- and we also get Lan's advice, too.

Darts were light and moved slowly. Deflection became exponentially more difficult with faster speeds, heavier items, and multiple objects.

This scene allows the later scene to move much quicker. When Lan's life is in danger, the story can just depict him using the power and we just get it, fully.

"He brought his arms up—unleashing Steel and Deflection together in a massive expulsion of jade energy... The ones that would have hit the Pillar were caught up like flies in a blast of gale wind. Just as he’d taught Anden, Lan gathered them into the sucking wake of his Deflection, whipped them around and hurled them back out like a fistful of thrown marbles."

We might think of Anden's scene as "foreshadowing" Lan's scene in chapter thirty-one. But I don't think that is a sufficient explanation of what's going on, on a craft level. We're not simply repeating a term or a symbol over and over (what people sometimes notice in a story and call "foreshadowing"), we are literally teaching the reader to understand how a particular thing works -- so that they can enjoy and experience it later, when they will need to.

Can you try this out in your own writing? Look at a scene in your novel where something complex, technical, or deeply personal happens. Can you add a "little mirror" or "prior version" or "educational moment" scene BEFORE that important development happens?

Two examples:

One:

Important scene: the main character is in a quiet spot in Montana, eating lunch outside, alone, after a successful business meeting. Another character walks up -- this is someone the character has always liked, respected, and found interesting -- and says that they often visit Seattle, where the main character usually works. Would the protagonist like to meet up the next time they are both in the city? This is clearly an invite to a date, but our protagonist refuses the request abruptly, rudely. The other character retreats, stung.

Prior scene: this same main character is on the phone to a parent three chapters earlier -- the parent says, "That damn ex is the reason you're still single. You have to let go of that marriage. It's over."

(the prior scene teaches us that the protagonist has an intimacy problem.)

Two:

Important scene: an amateur detective is inspecting a crime scene after the police have done their examination and departed. Their best friend is begging them to stop breaking the law and get the hell out of the room. After all, what can they find that the police would have missed? Suddenly, our detective pauses. "Liquid nitrogen? That would have removed the traces of ___ from the ___! This changes everything."

Prior scene: in the opening chapter, the amateur detective has been asked to speak at their friend's school, and they begin telling an extremely age-inappropriate story about the ways criminals use liquid nitrogen to erase evidence of murders. Their friend interrupts them before they can finish the story -- and scolds them for being so murder-obsessed in a later chapter.

(the prior scene prepares us to understand the role of liquid nitrogen in the crime scene.)

--

Sidenote:

You're probably thinking: Daniel, the reader doesn't need these "educational" scenes! This is so insulting! Just let the reader wait to find out why the protagonist was rude about the date. Let the reader trust that our protagonist is correct about liquid nitrogen. Isn't this spoon-feeding / dumbing down / info-dumping??? Can't the reader just handle it on their own?

My view, however, is that this is the wrong perspective. This is worrying about the wrong thing.

Underlying the fear of being too obvious is, I would suggest, a desire to be respected and admired. We all want to be lauded for our writing craft and skill. But this desire misleads us. It makes us value something that is of secondary or tertiary importance -- being quietly admired by the most discerning reader -- for something of absolute primary importance for fiction writers. We skimp on elegant means of explanation and refuse to frame of key moments in our stories -- essential tools for the reader's understanding -- because we are afraid of being too plain.

--

Prompt for the day: can you create a "prior scene" in your story? Pick one important moment and explain one element of it / demonstrate it in a prior scene.

Share your ideas below!

Yours,

Daniel

Jade City newsletter: chapters 21 to 31

This course is only available for enrolled students only.

Newsletters

Video lessons

Newsletters

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Audio Lessons

Newsletters

Discussion

Newsletters

Zoom Recordings

Newsletters

Zoom Recordings

Newsletters

Introductions and Resources

Newsletters

Zoom recordings and audio files

Newsletters